The Fun Also Rises

If I eat a Kid’s Cuisine while watching the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards, do you think I will literally become younger?

My joints crack so much

you’d think I’d have Rice Krispies instead of blood

In Soviet Literary Criticism class,

text reads YOU!

The day my life is complete

is the day a professor gives me bonus points on a test because of my impeccable penmanship.

Writing a cartoon script as a class project this semester

I’m not so concerned about how my 85-year-old professor will react to the superheroes, supervillains, cloning machines, and wizard that lives on a houseboat

but I am finding myself worried about what he’ll say when a physical description of an otherwise mature and intelligent character lists “blue hair”

They call me Doctor Blogger

Good morning, how are you, I’m Doctor Blogger.

I’m interested in things.

I’m not a real doctor, but I am a real blogger.

I am an actual blogger.

I live like a blogger.

I just googled “what is mr pibb’s first name”

and apparently he doesn’t have one

so I guess I get to name him

his name is Ron

Ron Pibb

Important realization of the day:

I think the school set in Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide is the same one from Saved by the Bell.

This is what I’m going to do when I eventually get my own car:

• Drive friends to parties
• Don’t party
• Take over the TV, any TV
• I’ll hide in the host’s bedroom if I have to
• Watch Back to the Future
• The whole trilogy
• As many times as I can
• Eat a lot of Chex Mix
• Try to engage drunk people in discussions about time travel
• And the power of love
• Drive my friends home
• Buy another bag of Chex Mix for the next party

I have a playlist called “Supervillain Break-Up Songs”

They’re basically regular break-up songs, but you have to imagine them being sung by a mad scientist who feels jilted after his superhero starts fighting other people